GOOD OR BAD PEOPLE

Hi friends,

Trust you are doing well since the last time you read from me.

It’s been a good week for me though not without hitches.

I recently remembered a movie I had watched first in secondary school then I went on a hunt for it in my service year in 2007 (I actually remember going from one movie shop to another, looking for the DVD 🫢🫢), because I enjoyed every bit of it when I first watched it. The movie is called THUNDERBOLT ‘MAGUN’ Deadlier than Aids by the famous Tunde Kelani. The story is about a couple who had a cross-cultural marriage and the husband seemed to be a very suspicious man and put this traditional medicine, magun on his corper wife, who he suspected for been unfaithful to him while she was at her work station. The medicine was to set a trap for the man sleeping with a woman whose husband suspected her and it would kill him in one of these ways. He could vomit blood immediately after sleeping with her and die, or he will keep somersaulting till he dies or he will drink water until he drowned in his own fluid (I don’t want to go into the mysteries of this myth 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️). At some point in this drama, when the truth that Yinka is the one who inflicted his wife Ngozi with Magun is revealed, her Vice Principal at the school she taught said “an evil man gives a bad name to his race, even when that race has a host of angels, but a race is a race, a man, a man.”

That last phrase for me is what I remembered in the course of the week, the fact that it is easy to make generalizations about a people, it is easy to be biased or prejudiced about a people. Meanwhile, we basically have two tribes when it comes to the subject matter of character, GOOD and BAD people. Whatever a person has done to you, find it somewhere in your heart to separate the person from his race, I know this is difficult, but it is possible. I am currently learning to do so, to try not to generalize.

I hope you have a great weekend.

TRANSITIONS II

Hi friends,

Today I start with the fact that the decisions we make do not affect only us, they affect the people around us. Two weeks ago, I shared about my current transitions and a senior friend suggested I captured the thoughts of those closest to me and the impact on them as well and boyyyyyyyyy…. I just got a sneak peak at what’s going on their hearts.

Enjoy reading from my family:

I agree with the saying that if you can think it, then you can do it. In the thinking process, it was a wrestle between the "can I? or can I not do it?" This process was a journey of faith. 

Moving to Kenya first happened mentally. I guess this was what kept me awake the last few weeks before leaving Jos. When it started materializing, it felt overwhelming, but because we had planned almost every detail, things started falling into shape. I prayed to God for everything, from the first steps to the actual move itself. The transition tested and stretched my faith. It was a leap of faith, leaving family and friends behind to fulfill God's calling in a place where we hardly knew people. 

I had been to Kenya before, but moving with my family was a new experience. We had never left our previous location in Nigeria; this was a big deal. I was anxious about how it would all come together. This was leaving our comfort zone, our support systems, and the many things and people we loved and cared about to start all over again. It was like walking on water and knowing the law of gravity could catch up with you. 

The last week before we left was stressful. There were many things that we had sorted that started going south. We had to rush to get those things sorted, and it was unsettling. My wife kept reminding me to keep believing in God even when I doubted. We trusted that He would take us to Nairobi safely. 

Finally, we embarked on our journey. The few friends we had, made our arrival comfortable, especially my team lead and his family. I am sleeping better now, and Nairobi is a great place to live. However, the transition helped me see that God is real, family is key to ministry success, nothing stops God's work. He brought us here, and I know He will be faithful to us.

(Moses my love)

Moving to Kenya is hard. When I was still in Nigeria I was saying, I want to come to Kenya, but now it is really hard for me to live in a new country, making new friends, living in a new environment that is too quiet, going to a new church and a new school. This is really hard for me to cope because I am missing home, my family and friends, my house and everything. But each day, I keep trying to have fun with my family and enjoy the new country.

Sisa (our oldest daughter who is 11 years old.)

The weather is cold here and I know that this place has a lot of wildlife such as lions, tigers, cheetahs, elephants, giraffes, and hippos. I like our new house; I like their schools because they have pools there. I miss my friends so much.

Nosagie (our 8 year old son)

I will write on behalf of our youngest son, Iyobosa.

He really isn’t saying much, except for once in a while, he calls the name of a friend from Jos, or his teacher and asks to speak to them. He’s not telling how much he misses what he used to know as home, but I know the changes are happening and I see it in the way he responds when he is upset.

We all will adjust in due time but for now, I am enjoying the pleasure of rest and other perks that come with not been known in a new environment 🫢. I love my new home and I trust that we all adjust as time rolls by.

Till I write again….

Blessings.

TRANSITIONS

What do transitions look like for you?

The dictionary defines a transition as the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

For me the last couple of weeks has been full of a lot of:

Planning. 

Organizing. 

Stretching of my faith. 

The thoughtful words and appreciation of my friends of me. 

Plentiful pictures taken. 

Experiencing Insomnia.

Many sleepovers in my home.

Moments where I snapped, especially at my family members because I was tired or trying to process a lot.

Having to be nominated for a role in my alumni community to serve my set, my acceptance to run for the office and the overwhelming feeling the campaign has had on me.

The utter shock of what campaigns look and feel like and the energy and words that go into them.

The gift of a hardworking young woman who has made my packing easier (Blessing).

The place where my family and I are learning to say our goodbyes.

The place my daughter has had her friends visit alongside their parents to say goodbye.

Celebration of milestones (Yobi completing homeschool).

It has been a lot for me, and I have experienced a myriad of feelings, having to process all of it but in it all, I give thanks and praise because I have not broken down and neither has any member of my family.

I am looking forward to new beginnings.

The man behind the mask

Hello people,
It's so good to write and share content on this space as I pondered on things happening around me, I wondered on which of them I wanted to write about. Then a senior friend of mine Dr. Funmi Owolabi shared this beautiful piece with me and I felt it was apt to share her musings with us. For me it was a question of how authentic I need to be.

Enjoy reading!!!

There's this book titled 'The Man in the Mirror'.I bought a copy because of its title and it sure is a great read! I was attracted to this title at first glance because I thought it might have something on transparency. I was right!The mirror reveals-the good,bad and ugly.There's the eternal mirror, God's word, that reveals all about us-our origin, and where we are. It's a good thing to stand before the mirror but there's a paradigm shift nowadays.We have replaced the mirror with the mask!The mask covers up imperfections and gives power to those behind it to reveal or hide the truth about them.I think that some of our relationships are masked up-there really isn't that sincerity and transparency that characterize authentic relationships therein.The other day,I asked a friend about his wife and he answered by reeling out the wife's progress in her educational endeavours.Hmm! I mentally filed that one for further reflections. These are times when  people define you by your status- education,wealth, popularity e.t.c.We also define ourselves by our statuses. But who cares about the fact that you might really, really be struggling with important issues of life such as faithfulness in marriage, financial integrity,or Christian maturity, you name it?Not too many people care about these real issues of life these days.So,we mask up and life has become phony.
I am learning to take off my masks, whether those I created or those given to me by circumstances or by people.I am learning to go back to the Mirror which is God's word and define myself by its standards.I am learning to recognize my weaknesses and to receive grace in the face of my weaknesses.I am also learning to truly care for people by asking 'how are you doing today?' and to pause for their feedback.May the Lord continue to help us to become real, authentic people who constantly stand before His mirror.These are the very ones that our world is hungry for, don't you think?

AGING

For me the concept of aging rubs off on me differently at different times. I have had times where the thought of aging has scared me to my insides because I fear what it means to age and not have some basic things in my life, like a home to call my own and at other times it is seeing those who have aged and are sickly and I ask myself, does old age connote ill health? The most worrisome for me is the fact that as people age, many feel the need to do what pleases them, because I guess, time may not be on their side, they have attained to a certain degree that no one may necessarily be able to hold them accountable for their actions. This is because the assumption is that you are old enough to know the right thing to do. These actions can mar the people around the older person and make them lose faith in God, relationships, and vital values. This for me is the scariest place to be.
I desire for myself that as I age, I will be a better version of who I was yesterday. I will be more graceful in handling the people around me. I will not take advantage of my age to do as I please, whether or not it will hurt the people I love the most. I will be considerate of the feelings of others. I will have my needs met in old age and be the best version of who I am meant to be. SO, HELP ME GOD. AMEN.

NIGERIA CAN ACTUALLY WORK

Nigeria can actually work.
So here I am in a private hospital waiting to see the Pediatrician. We just got registered and had to wait 30 minutes in the lobby for him to come ( I even begin to complain to my husband that he's taking time probably because he is coming from a public hospital). He walks in and I realise the same person I had met in the public hospital barely 2 weeks ago was the same person was meeting in a private hospital and the treatment was different.
I was being spoken to politely.
I'm told what is wrong with my kid, but when I was in the public hospitals two weeks ago he sparsely spoke to me, he mostly wrote.
The kind of drugs we were given. 
It was just different ...
So here I am left wondering, what is going on different work environments (the public and the private spaces).
What is required in the public space is different from the private space.
The work load even on our public servants is overwhelming, it affects they way they handle us.
Our public spaces aren't palatable for people to go, they often leave feeling treated like trash.

I think that we need to organise this nation make things work in both the public and private sectors. The standards of what is expected of people should be high and the same in both sectors. This is the only way we can grow as a nation.

YOUR STEADFAST LOVE ENDURES

The songwriter once sang: Your steadfast love endures to the heavens, your faithfulness reaches to the skies... I think I now understand those lines. As I interact with people I have realized that my endurance level with any man/woman is very limited. We may have struck an excellent friendship from the moment we first met or it developed over time. Whatever the scenario, I have understood that as time goes on and either distance or human frailties set in our patience begins to wear thin. Those exciting feelings we had towards this individual when that chord of friendship first struck begins to fade away. We begin to see clearly that no one is perfect and then we make the choice whether to continue this path of friendship or to go out separate ways. We then begin to see how limited we are as humans to endure with anyone for a lifetime. On the other hand is God Almighty, who created us. One would think, He is Almighty, He loses nothing whether or not He is in a relationship with any man because He is sufficient in Himself but He stoops to relate with each man/woman He creates and follows us daily, steadfastly till He gets our attention. He works at pruning us (though the changes in our lives are dependent on our cooperation with Him) to look more like Him. For me the character of God that will forever amaze and blow my mind is His steadfastness. I give up on my fellow human especially when those inconsistencies begin to surface but He doesn't. He follows us till we take our dying breath. What better show of love? Truly, Your love indeed extends to the heavens...